The Questions we ask Shape who we Become.

What is wrong with me? That was the question that plagued me for the best part of my teens and twenties. And such a question always comes with a generous flood of answers. I was lazy. I was clumsy. I wasn’t good enough.

Krista Tippett once said: "We are shaped as much by the quality of the questions we are asking as by the answers we have it in us to give." I see the truth in this statement because this question, what’s wrong with me, had a devastating impact on my sense of self and how I showed up in the world.

I avoided studying because I was lazy; I stopped trying out because I was unathletic; I accepted that falling and breaking stuff was my cross to bear because I was clumsy. And people won’t take me seriously, because my head was always in the clouds. Every disappointment became evidence that my question was right. I wasn’t simply answering “What is wrong with me? I was beginning to interpret my whole life through it. The question I asked, and the answers I came up with, either from the voices in my head or the people around me, determined the way I showed up in life.

If the questions we ask determine the quality of our lives, then it is vital that we begin to pay attention to the questions in our hearts, see the impact they have on our lives, and maybe revise them for a more hopeful outcome.

What if I started with a different question? Instead of asking what was wrong with me, what if I asked: What does God see when he looks at me? Who has God created me to become? What gifts has God already placed in my life? Those questions remind me that my identity is discovered in God’s voice before it is discovered in my own. Now, in retrospect, I can name a few ways I see God’s creative activity in young Samantha. Her head was in the clouds because she had a great imagination. She was creative, curious, and loved reading. She could speak, and that gift entertained and surprised people, and later became her strongest spiritual gift. She was intelligent and learned from the great number of books she read more than from her classroom time. A different question might have opened the door into a happier youth.

Then there are the questions that seem to have delayed answers, or no answers at all, and these too shape who we are becoming. What questions are best left unsolved? I think it’s the ones that address situations outside of our control. Why did that have to happen to me? Why did she have to die? Why won’t he change?

Dwelling on these questions leaves us stuck and unproductive in the world. Some questions cannot be answered immediately. Instead of forcing a resolution, we sometimes need the patience to carry them with us, trusting that, over time, the Holy Spirit will bring greater understanding. Some questions cannot be rushed, and as followers of Christ, we do not merely live with unanswered questions; we live with them in the presence of Jesus. Waiting is never empty because the One who is the Truth walks with us while the answer is still unfolding.

Scripture understands this better than anyone. Jesus rarely asked questions because he needed information. He asked them because he wanted transformation. The Gospel of Mark is filled with questions because the right question often changes a person more deeply than a quick answer ever could.

In Mark’s Gospel, questions are used masterfully to expose the hearts of the people, reveal the nature of God, and open a way of wonder and discovery that transforms readers. Jesus asks the storm-tossed disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" He asks the woman who touches his cloak in the crowd, "Who touched my clothes?" And he asks his own disciples the question that still echoes through every generation of the church, "But who do you say I am?" These questions rarely aim at quick answers, but rather invite us to enter the story and there, through renewed self-knowledge and the working of the Holy Spirit, encounter Jesus.

What questions are in your heart during this season? Over the next few weeks, we are going to sit with the questions people brought to Jesus. As we do, we may discover that he is far less interested in giving us quick answers than in forming us into people who trust him more deeply. In his presence, even our unanswered questions become places of transformation.